Christmas Equations
by I Punch Werewolves 4 Fun
Summary: One Hundred Percent-Chapter six featured a passing comment about Edward and Bella showing up to the birth of Abby in formal wear and a Santa Claus suit, this is their night leading to that. Originally posted for the Christmas Wishes compilation.


Title: Christmas Equations

Author: I Punch WereWolves 4 Fun

Summary: An outtake from One Hundred Percent-Chapter six featured a passing comment about Edward and Bella showing up to the birth of Abby in formal wear and a Santa Claus suit, this is their night leading to that.

Rating: MA or NC-17

Pairing: Edward/Bella

A/N: Butterfly Betty assisted me with her beta skills on this.

"I can't believe he's making me do this," Edward grumbled. He was standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom poking his stomach.

"Babe," I started while trying to keep a straight face, "It's not so bad."

"Not so bad? Not so bad?" He looked at me in disbelief. "Bella I look like I have a beer gut!"

I laughed at him and rubbed my hand over his puffed out belly. "Not beer," I told him and kissed his cheek. "More like a cookies and milk gut."

Edward glared at me again, before turning back to the mirror and running his hands over the red and white suit complete with padded tummy. He was being a cry baby over the fact his dad told him he had to dress in the Santa suit for the Children's hospital Christmas party. Evidently the old man who normally did it had been contacted by Macy's to work in their largest Chicago store for the holiday season and backed out of the party.

"C'mon Santa, we need to get going. There's a bunch of kids waiting for you."

We gathered our things and walked out to the truck. Edward held my door open and made his way to his own side. He slid into his seat and grabbed for the wheel but could reach it. "What the fuck?" he yelled. "How am I supposed to drive?"

I watched him start to fidget and try to pull on the padding under his red coat. Placing my hand over his, I stopped him. "You can't do that. What if there are kids when we pull up? I'm sure they'd have a lot of questions as to why Santa is shoving a pillowy thing up his shirt. I'll drive, switch seats with me."

Though he grumbled and complained, Edward got out and moved to the passenger side. He was still scowling as we drove, being completely un-Santa like, so I called him out on all of his bah-hum-bugginess. "You know, these kids are going to think Santa is a douchbag if you don't start smiling and being jolly."

"Ho, ho, fucking ho," he said in a very unenthusiastic tone.

"Seriously, babe? What is your problem?"

"I just feel like a tool in this get up. I invited you to come tonight so we could have a nice time and I could see you in a pretty dress. Now I'm stuck playing Santa all night and you're going to be stuck with my parents, aunt and uncle and two dumbass cousins while I risk getting pissed and puked on by a bunch of kids," he huffed.

"Edward, it's fine. I mean, yeah, would I have loved to have been with you all night? Of course, but you are going to make those sick kids and their families so happy," I told him with grabbing onto his hand.

"Hmm, I guess you're right. I never thought about it like that," he lifted my hand and kissed it lightly. "Thank you for helping me pull my head out of my ass."

"Any time, Edward, anytime," I told him. "So now that you're not acting like a scrooge, are you gonna practice that ho, ho, ho'ing?" We both laughed for a moment before Edward began getting into character.

~** CC **~

I couldn't stop myself from looking across the room. Edward was seated at a table with a bunch a children, laughing, talking and eating the same dinner as them. He was munching on a chicken nuggets, veggies and chocolate milk while his family and I had filet mingon. But he didn't seem to mind one bit. I could see his wide, genuine simile through the scraggly, white hair of his fake beard.

When our meal was through, I sat talking to Edward's cousins Jasper and Sawyer, but my eyes kept veering back to Edward and the kids. It was like the conversation in the car had really given him a total one-eighty about tonight. He seemed to have a blast playing the role of Mr. Claus.

"So, Bella," Jasper started, pulling me back into the conversation. When I turned back towards him he started laughing. "Might wanna wipe the drool off your chin, sweetheart."

"What?"

"You, you're so whipped already," he pointed to Edward. "And him helping these kids has got you all frazzled and wanting to pounce him."

"I-I-I…you,…just," I stuttered, before adding "Shut up, Jasper." He laughed and said how true it was. I didn't correct him, he was right after all, but there was no way I'd voice that to him.

The night continued with all the children getting a chance to take a picture with Santa and were given a gift as well. Edward was totally into it, every child was given his undivided attention.

I couldn't resist wanting to capture this and took my camera out of my purse. As I weaved through the crowd to get closer a little girl, who looked no more than five, made her way up to Edward. She had curly blonde hair and wore glasses, she was in a pair of hospital issued pajamas and was clutching a teddy bear in one hand.

She seemed hesitant to get too close to Santa, until he held his hand out to her and asked about her teddy bear.

"So what's your name, sweet girl?" he asked the child.

"Lucy," she said shyly. "Are you really named Santa Claus?" Her question caused those that could hear her to laugh.

"Yes, it is. But I have many other names, too; Kris Kringle, Sinter Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nikolas."

"That's a lot of names," she told him in awe.

"It is, but I bet you have a lot of different names, too, don't you?"

"My momma calls me her Lulu, and daddy says I'm his angel girl."

"Well aren't those lovely names for a lovely little girl." And I could see that Edward truly meant it. This little girl was stealing a piece of his heart, she was just so adorable.

Edward scooped the little girl up and placed her on his knee. "Now, my sweet little Lucy, I would like to know what it is you want the most for Christmas."

"Umm, I don't know," Lucy shrugged.

"But there must be something you want. Something Santa can give you to make you happy. If you tell me, I'll see what I can do to make it happen, well if you've been a good girl."

"Anything?"

"Anything at all, I will do my best to make it happen."

"I want to be a princess!"

"A princess, you say?" Edward mused out loud. I could see when he slyly looked over towards his father and gave him a wink. "Well, I think if you're a really good girl Santa might be able to help with that. Can you be a good girl?"

"Oh, yes, Santa, the very bestest, ever!" After getting a picture done and handing little Lucy a small gift, Edward continued the routine until all the children had been given a chance to visit him. He was sweet and caring towards every child and it made my heart melt a little. I had seen him with my nephew a few times since we'd started dating in September and it always amazed me how well he was with kids. And though I knew I wouldn't say it anytime soon, it made me overjoyed that if we were to settle down one day and have our own, Edward would make a terrific father.

When nine o'clock struck, all the children were brought back up to their rooms and with the wee ones gone, Edward was allowed to take off the padded stomach and beard. With both of those things gone he was looking like a really hot Santa.

As soon as the kids were out of earshot, Edward pulled his father over to us and discussed ways to make sure little Lucy was given her Christmas wish; even going as far as volunteering to show up dress up as a prince alongside the little girl. It really was heart warming to know that he was willing to do anything to make a child smile.

Awhile later we were sitting with his arm draped over my shoulder, watching his parents dance when his fingers started teasing me. They lazily traced random patterns on my skin, barely making contact. It wasn't enough to tickle, but rather leave a tingling sensation in its wake. The longer he continued on with the feather light touches I realized it was starting to become arousing.

Not wanting him to get away with his subtle torture, I placed my hand on his leg and lightly massaged him inner thigh.I knew I was affecting him a few minutes later when he traced my ear with his nose and murmured, "Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?""No, I don't think you did," I told him, leaning closer."Well then, I apologize. Because it should be known that you are the most beautiful woman in the room.""I bet you say that to all the pretty ladies on the nice list. Give 'em compliments instead of presents.""Nope. I give good ladies Sawyer's number. The bad ones get Jasper's," he laughed. "Really now?" I asked with raised eyebrows. "So what am I getting?""Well," Edward licked his lips, "since you've been extra naughty... I may have to punish you."I couldn't even respond to his words. I could feel the blush on my cheek and looked down trying to hide it and my smirk."You know," he started, "you kill me when you blush like this. Just drives me crazy."The party was in full swing, people dancing and enjoying drinks. Edward and I had danced together, even switching for a song with his parents. I was having a wonderful time when Edward pulled be off to the side and asked me to go for a walk with him."A walk? Where are we going to go? Besides we'll miss dessert," I pointed flashed me a devilish grin and started pulling me down a hallway off the function room. "Don't worry about dessert, princess, I got something big and hard you can enjoy." Then he winked at me and pulled me through a door at the end of the to play along, I palmed his dick over his pants and asked, "Yeah? You got a candy cane for me?""Damn it, Bell!" He exclaimed and pinned me to the door. Almost immediately his lips were pressed to mine, kissing me hard. While our lips were locked, I continued rubbing him through the red fabric. With a groan he pulled away and rested his forehead on my shoulder. "Lock the door, baby," he instructed between kisses to my collarbone. I could feel Edward's hands snaking under my dress and just as I clicked the lock into place he reached my ass looking around I realized we were in an office. "Edward, where are we?""Don't worry about it," he mumbled kissing down into my cleavage. He pulled me by my hips towards a couch, bringing me to straddle his lap as he sat down. Slowly, his fingers tugged down my dress as his mouth continued its descent. The sensations and view were too much , I threw my head back but caught a glimpse of a picture on a shelf.

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed and batted him away from my breasts. "Are you trying to seduce me in your father's office, Edward?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure I was succeeding until about ten seconds ago, but yes. Yes, I was," he stated with no shame. I stared blankly at him, not amused. "Bella, I've watched you schmooze all night, seen the was men look at you and all I've wanted was to stake claim on you. However, Santa groping a beautiful young lady in front of those kids would have been wrong."

"You do have a point," I conceded, grinding against him a bit. "And it would be such a shame to let my big, hard treat go to waste."

Edward let out a groan as I climbed off him and started tugging down his pants. I lowered myself to the ground in front of him and used one hand to hold the base of his cock. Keeping my eyes locked with his I licked from the bottom to the tip of his dick, then swirled my tongue around the top. When I finally took him all the way into my mouth, he told me that he wasn't sure if this made me really naughty or really nice.

I continued to lick and suck him, occasionally scraping my teeth along his shaft and gently biting down, but he could only handle so much. "Bella, baby, you gotta stop. I want to fuck you so bad."

Pulling me away from his dick, he stood, bringing me upright with him. His lips were pressing against mine roughly and his hands were roaming around the back of my dress. "Where's the zipper?" he asked.

"There is none," I told him, pushing his shirt up. We broke apart and he threw the top off to the side. I took in the sight of him standing before me; pants bunched around his ankles, boots still on and one very hard cock standing at attention. Without more than a second thought, I grabbed the hem of my dress and yanked it over my head.

"You didn't have a bra on all night?" Edward exclaimed, reaching out to palm my tits.

"Nope," I said and pushed him to sit on the couch, again. I lowered my panties and kicked them off to the side, leaning me in only heels. Slowly I climbed back onto Edward's lap and placed his dick just under me. I paused for a moment, keeping my eyes on his, then lowered myself onto him.

I set a slow pace, circling my hips and kissing all over Edward's face. His hands were squeezing my boobs and pinching the nipples. It felt incredible, so I sped up, bouncing faster and faster in his lap.

"Oh, my god, you feel so damn good in me," I moaned, dropping my head to his shoulder. "Touch me, baby, touch me and I'll cum. I'm so damn close."

Edward brought his right hand up to my lips and slipped to fingers inside my mouth, coating them with saliva. He pulled them out and brought them down to my clit, rubbing light circles at first, until I begged him to go harder and faster. He obliged immediately and had me moaning his name into the air as I came.

My pace had slowed considerably, but Edward stilled my hips with his hands when I was done riding out my orgasm. "Get up," he murmured and moved me to the cushion next to him. He then bent over and removed his boots, pants and boxers before standing up.

"On your knees, face the back of the couch," he commanded in a thick voice. Taking in the intense look on his face, I scrambled to do as he asked. Looking over my shoulder, I watched as he stepped behind me. His hands started kneading my ass cheeks roughly while he ground his cock against me. He lined him self up, and slide into me slowly, not moving when he was fully in.

"Do you think you've been a good girl or bad girl, this year?" Edward asked, rubbing his hands up and down my back.

Pretending to think it over for a second I gave him my best innocent face, then said "I've been good."

"You sure about that?" He asked and I nodded my head yes. "Last chance to tell me the truth, are you a good girl or a bad girl?"

"Good, so good."

Before I had time to say or do anything further a smack landed on my right ass cheek, followed quickly with one to the left. "Such a naughty girl," Edward tsk''ed, "Lying to your very own Santa. Guess I'll have to punish you for it." His final words were followed up with him puling all the way out then slamming back into me.

He repeated the process a few times, giving me a couple well placed swats to the ass, then thrusting hard and deep. Then with a hand on each hip, he started guiding me back into him when he pushed forward, quickly building a relentless pace.

"Fuck," he swore when he saw my hand snake underneath me and move towards my clit. "You really must be a naughty girl, touching yourself like that. God, it's so hot."

He moved his hands up my body and around to fondle my breasts and pinch my nipples. His pace never let up though, he kept pounding into me and whispering in my ear about how bad I was. I came again, m muscles tightening up before releasing in euphoria.

"I'm close, baby," he told me, and grabbed onto my hips again. "Fuck me back, do it hard. Make me cum, like the bad, bad, girl you are." I pushed myself back into him as hard and fast as I could. When his grip on me got tighter and he kept chanting 'oh, fuck, oh fuck', I knew he was cumming.

When our hips stopped he leaned over and kissed the back of my neck then shoulder. He pulled out and collapsed on the cushion next to me, then wrapped his arms around me. Once he was breathing normal he pelted my face with sweet kisses and told me how amazing it was. I agreed whole heartedly.

After resting for a few minutes we got up and used the in suite half-bathroom to freshen up as best we could and made our way back to the party. When we arrived Esme, Edward's more rushed over and told us that our cell phones had been ringing non-stop for the past twenty minutes. I rushed over to our tabled and pulled my blackberry out and saw that Rose and Emmett had both called, many times in fact.

While I tried dialing them back, Esme asked Edward where we had been. He told her he was showing me around the hospital, but behind Esme's back Jasper was pretending to spank someone while thrusting his hips. I was thankful that he was just goofing around, but couldn't look at him because I knew my reaction would give away just how right he was.

When Emmett finally answered the phone, he told me that he and Rose were at the hospital, her water had broken and that her labor was progressing fast. Then my cousin stole the phone and told me to hurry my ass up because my niece would be arriving anytime now.

Edward and I quickly gathered our things and ran a few blocks down the road to the adult hospital. With no time to run home and change, we were forced to wear what we had to the party; a crinkled dress and a wrinkly Santa suit.


End file.
